.:|The World of Dea|:.

They say that it’s not okay to have negative thoughts about something or someone before we have any proof, that we are supposed to uphold the principle of “innocent until proven guilty”. Even my religious belief condemns such thoughts. I have tried giving people the benefit of the doubts, however if you’ve been burned and hurt so many times by people you trust, it’s a little more difficult not to have that negative thought. To be fair to myself by having experienced so much crap, I tend to be more careful in giving my trust to anybody. I’m no longer that nice and innocent girl. Well, I’m still nice, but not so innocent anymore. I believe that while everybody has good side, they also have bad side. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re all just humans. And I’m human. I can’t help but being more careful with people, to prepare myself for the worst. Because I’ve seen it and experienced it myself, that life can sometimes be a bitch. A total bitch. And that’s okay.

Just because I don’t have a job, doesn’t mean that I can’t plan for something to spend my time with. I’m actually a plan freak. I plan every single thing. I plan what I’m going to do for the whole day (even if it’s just lounging around watching a TV series marathon). Of course, not everything goes as planned and when it doesn’t go like I plan to, I get irritated. That’s just me.

It’s what’s happening right now and it’s too late to make a new plan for the day. ARRRGGHH. I’m so upset right now.

Whuat??? it’s Thursday night??? Tomorrow is Friday?? I only have one day left to study!!

OMG. I’m freakin’ out.. the test is on Saturday and I’m actually scared of it.

But, I’m done studying for the night. That’s all the studying I could handle in a day.

G’night.

Men flirt. A little or a lot. In a relationship or not. Perhaps it is something that women who are in a relationship with those men should understand. But should they?

To what extent are we -women- should be okay with that?

I guess a little harmless flirtation is fine but I can’t help but think that if we let our men do that, they would think that it’s an OK thing to do and then the little flirtation would then become a major flirtation and then eventually lead to cheating. =(

But on the other hand, it might be true that some men flirt with other girls but at the end of the day they’re only in love with one woman. Personally, I can’t completely take comfort in that. It drives me crazy if my man flirts with another girl. However, lately I have this thought in my head that the world is unfair enough already, I shouldn’t have to deal with unfairness that comes from someone who says that they love me.

So, if the little flirtation develops into something bigger. It’s time for me to walk away. *sighs*

capeeeekkkk„ jengkell„„ yang saya tau saya mmg suka menolong. Tapi yang paling bikin jengkelnya lagi, justru orang2 yang saya tolong yang paling sering bikin sakit hati. DAAAMMMMMNNNN.

WhAt is wrong with you people???

I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING SLAVE. 

Rasanya mo menghilang saja. 

Because guess what? Ternyata tidak ada ji yang peduli. Tidak ada yang mo repot2 tanya how I’m doing or whether I’m fine. Kalian cuma pikirkan diri kalian sendiri toh? Yang penting urusanmu semua beresss. One little screw up from me and suddenly you think I’m the worst person on the planet. WTF?!!

This life is already unfair. I think I don’t have to take that shit from people who say that they love me.

I get anxious every time I am facing something like a major test, job interview, or presentation. I get anxious before the event, and then get nervous afterwards while waiting for the result.

It’s not beneficial for me to get anxious but it’s something I can’t help. Getting anxious before a big test might prevent me from studying better because all I can think about is the actual test. However, I usually snap out of it in time and study my ass off.

The waiting part isn’t any better. I am never very good at waiting in general, so waiting for a result is not something I deal well with. It’s also bad that sometimes I’m too hard on myself for not successfully achieving something. However, with my self-growth I’m coping a little better with failure. 

Right now I’m waiting for yet another result from a job interview (wish me LUCK, please) and also preparing for an upcoming IELTS. Oh„the things I’d do for my future..

Have a nice evening, everyone =)

Today is all about a bunch of mess thrown simultaneously at me.

I started it by doing chores, such as laundry and what-not. I also prepared stuff to cook for my beloved boyfriend. We had planned to spend sometime together, basically running errands with him. But because it’s the anniversary of the new government which according to the people has been quite disappointing, a lot of people were protesting and major roads were blocked or in a serious traffic jam. This led to having to stay home. And I get really annoyed when something doesn’t go as planned.

I also found out that I didn’t get the job that I really wanted. So that blows. 

And then, I had to encounter a disaster with the people that I’m supposed to guide, so to speak. This ended with me walking away from them.

Driving home, I was kinda setting my mind to face another fiasco thrown at me just for the sake of preparing for the worst, which didn’t happen. Thank GOD.

And by the way, I also got a disturbing news that my neighbor which lives two houses away from me was robbed today during the day, when I was at home. Now, people in my neighborhood are getting nervous because of this.

So yeah life’s a bitch. I knew that.

So the tagline of the day is this: “We can’t accommodate what everyone wants”. However, certain people just won’t understand this reality. They keep asking that what they want to be made happen. 

I spent a part of my afternoon arguing with someone who got on my nerves. I already told him that, I wouldn’t be able to give him what he wanted. Yet, the said person kept badgering me to the point of exhaustion. My exhaustion. Which leads to my walking away. 

I hate people like that. I hate it when someone could be so closed-minded and self-important. He just made me resent something that used to be such a fun and exciting thing for me.

He himself gave me the so-called honor to pick the teams, and then now when everything with the teams seems to be falling apart and I wanted to try n save them, he walked all over me. Guess what? I don’t want to give a crap anymore.

Basically, I’m a caring person, but even such person has their limits. So, here is my limit. 

He has just proved that he doesn’t deserve my time and patience.

Good luck guys, it looks like you don’t need a coach anymore.

Caution: Rant ahead.

Here’s a fact that I’m sure everybody is well aware of. Not everybody likes each other. And that’s just fine. I try my best to stay the hell away from people who dislike me for whatever reason. I’m just never going to be up for pleasing everybody because that always fails. 

So my title says that not everybody likes me and that’s okay. But here’s something I would like you to know. If you don’t like me, tell it to my face. That way, you can continue to hate me and get a little bit of my respect. Don’t go trash-talking me behind my back because, guess what? You don’t have the right to do so. And since you’re going to say whatever the hell it is that you want about me, regardless it’s true or not (but I’m betting it would be mostly wrong), I’m saying that you have a pretty miserable life yourself. What a waste of time on your end.

And what gives you the right acting like the most perfect human being on earth?

I admit I’m far from perfection. I’m flawed. And I’m fine about it because everybody is. I admit I have some traits that may not be likable but I’m happy just being ME. 

This is the way I am. No one says you have to like it. 

Yes, it sucks if some people talk behind our back but there’s no way of controlling that. People are just going to say whatever the hell they want and for those who do that to me, I have to say that you won’t make me or break me. 

I don’t want to think about what you’re thinking or saying behind my back anymore. I just want to do and be ME. Because I’m pretty fabulous myself. 

I no longer care what they say, because I’m a big girl and I’ve always know what I wanted and I’ve discovered myself. I know what’s good for me and what’s not. 

For other people who don’t exactly know me and just assume they know me so well, SCREW YOU!!! 

Whether you love me or hate me it’s your choice. Because in the end, my happiness is more important and I know I’m not going to be happy merely for pleasing other people. No way.

——

I write this in the light of finding out that some people have been talking crap about me (yes, thank the online networking systems).

Images are from her blog

I have a very strong reaction to girls who try to not be herself just for a guy. It’s bad enough if you want to like everything that your boyfriend likes, but it’s like a million times worse to like everything that a guy you have a crush on likes. Especially if the guy has a girlfriend and is obviously crazy in love with his girlfriend.

That kind of girl is just frickin’ pathetic. Why would someone want to waste so much time in pleasing a guy who is just not into them? I feel sorry for girls like this.

Message for them:

If his girlfriend wears high-heels and has her own sense of style, dressing like the girlfriend won’t necessarily makes the guy pays attention to you because the guy might not fall in love with his girlfriend because of what she wears or how she dresses. And even if he finally notices you, that’s just because you remind him of the girl he loves.

Trying to impress him to like the same things he likes? Well, it’s one way to get a guy’s attention. But unfortunately, if he already has a girlfriend, you’re wasting your time.

Listening to the same kind of music? Really? If you’re into Justin Bieber or Clay Aiken and he’s into rock music, do you seriously want to listen to that kind of music that you don’t even like in the first place? Why? What a waste of time. 

I guess, what I’m trying to say to you is stop wasting your time. Be yourself and find someone who doesn’t have a girlfriend who would fall for you. Stop bothering other people’s relationships!!

Because the more you do, the more you make a fool out of yourself. So, wake up!!!